K of D..the legend, the process, the blog.

FOUR SHOWS LEFT!

2008-02-05T13:25:00.000-08:00

and then it's over. um. this sucks. most times the end of a run is a goooood thing, natural course of things are to, eventually, end. but i'm not done with this. and i don't know what to do about it. i know what i WANT to do about it.............
TOUR TOUR TOUR!!!!!
but the how, where and whens are beyond me.
these are times that i wish i had a bit more of the business/pushy/seller in me. you know these people, that have no qualms about dealing with what they do as a commodity worth selling, relentless, confident, striving for fame most times.
and what i learned at the end of my year and a half brain-fart up in new york (no offense my ny lovelies) was that i am NOT one of these people. i have no strive for fame, no thirst for it....famous people are miserable, neurotic, just plain not-of-this-world. and i like this world. i like being a waitress, serving people, having some f%cking perspective about how lucky i am to be doing what i love.
so, like i said, tour? YES, please. but how? i'm all shrugs.

hey, thanks for letting me vent.

another round of my clan came last saturday. THE mom of all mommies, sistah deb, brotha bob, in-law bros steve and brian, niece abby, nephew joe, and four family friends. i have been playing to this crowd since i was three in my living room, doing my incredible rendition of olivia newton-john's 'hopelessly devoted to you.' i always feel my best when i am playing to them, for they were the first i wanted so desperately to make smile and be entertained. it was an absolute treat. AND surprisingly i had a good house superbowl sunday. i was not expecting that. so thanks for that.

so, like i said, four days left. tell your friends. i want to tell them a story.

love you mean it.

reviews, siblings and my days off

2008-01-26T10:13:00.000-08:00

okay okay. i read the reviews. i was weak. curiosity gnawing at my insides. they never get to me, i always read them. but this show i was all 'NO NOOOO!!! this is too too precious to me, too close, raw nerves all over!!' but i woke up tuesday morning and thought 'kim, shut the f#ck up, get over yourself, and read them.' that's what i did.
and they TOTALLY GIVE EVERYTHING AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
in their defense they were VERY supportive of the show, they dig what we have created, incredibly humbling, you couldn't ask for anything better.

but some are absolute spoilers.
this show is a like a ghost story, a weaved tale, and you're not supposed to know what is to happen.

i am most likely being a big baby, too sensitive, 'raw nervy' and all that.
maybe i shouldn't have read them.
now i feel lame.

but all will be better because #5 and #6 of my 8 siblings are coming into town tonight to see the show. they're not named '#5 & #6', they're Scott and Liz, but those numbers are their chronological titles....i'm #9. i am very very psyched, they are the first of my family to see it.

and my days off are fantastic, and muchly needed. i was debating on whether or mot i wanted to do back to work at my coffeehouse for those days...but then i came to my senses. i love tryst, don't get me wrong, but i love having that time to myself, to just be, read the paper, do sudoku, see a movie, etc. this monday, for instance i am going to go see 'there will be blood', you know some light hearted fluff, good-feeling flick will do the trick. :)

i have to clean my apt now, scott and liz should be here soon. yay!!!!!!

have a great weekend!

DRUM ROLL PLLLLEEASE...

2008-01-21T08:43:00.000-08:00

We are OFFICIALLY officially open! feels like i have been open since tuesday, but apparently last night was the real deal. this has been one hell of a week and i am extremely tired. i now have three wondrous days off to let my mind, heart, and body hibernate.

Interesting thing happened last night. someone walked out.
RIGHT in front of me, literally inches from me.
in not giving anything away, there is a point in my 'urban legend' that, from what Lovely Laura (playwright) has told me, has affected people so much in the various 'workshop readings' of this show that they had to leave, get up and walk out of the theatre. i never thought that would happen, and IT sure as shit DID.
and right as it was happening, i was okay with it, my character understood, I understood, and i took a moment of acknowledgment, gave her time to leave the space, and pressed on.
folks, this show is powerful, at some points unbearably sad, but i promise, it is well worth getting through those points and staying for the rest of the story, promise promise promise.

so, like i said, at the time i was okay with it, but i REALLY hope it doesn't happen again. i felt bad.

i'm off to go do absolutely nothing for three days.

playbill online!!!

2008-01-17T11:10:00.000-08:00

and yet more buzz buzz buzz
last night was an OVER-sold house. yowzaa! and the night before was about 20 people for the invited dress. the crazy thing is that i loved both the light and heavy houses in there own way, which is an awesome discovery for me. some shows just don't work or don't feel right with a light house, but i could do this show for ten people, and it would still rock for me. i friggin love that.

.....but don't get me wrong, folks. i still want all those seats filled. girl's gotta eat. :)

invited dress TONIGHT!!!!

2008-01-15T08:37:00.000-08:00

Awwwww yeah it is ON! Finally I can start talking to some people. it has been soooo very lonely, telling my story to a bunch of chairs, and Matt, Andrew, Marie, Laura, John, Jen, Kristi with the occasional Howard, Brian, Sheetz and Elissa but STILL. my stuff is getting REALLY OLD with them, i need fresh blood! .....and i mean that in the least vampiric way possible ....maybe...mwahahahahahaha!....ha!...heh...cough cough.
ANYWAY...
How do I feel right now? Hmmmm. A little bit of all these things: nauseous, giddy, full, prepared, jittery, honored, humbled.
That list will shrink once I get closer and closer to tonight, minimized into a sharp focal point, where all i will have to do is walk out on stage and let it happen.

But right now i have to go to the bank and then to the CVS to pick up some dental floss. You shouldn't neglect your gums, kids.

Love you Mean it.

yoga. lots of yoga.

2008-01-10T10:13:00.000-08:00

i am going to be as spry as a ten-year old gymnast in no time!! yoga is my savior through all this. keeps me centered, warm, dare i say, pliable, and most importantly OPEN. anytime i feel my crippling doubt seeping its way into my shoulders, i rush to that lovely green mat, put my hands in prayer and proceed to do as many sun salutations as is needed or time will allow.

namaste, indeed, my lovelies. namaste.

tech week is underway.

washington post on line...

2008-01-08T10:43:00.000-08:00

check it out. buzz buzz buzz.

tech week begins and i say BRING IT!

2008-01-07T14:44:00.000-08:00

we got laura, playwright of all playwrights, with her smiles and beautiful, glossy, chestnut locks, in the room with us now and it's like the final pieces of the puzzle can finally be put into place. i just need to convey, for the millionth time, how lucky i am to be doing this. this is the stuff we actors dream about...AND nightmare about. fear mixed with adrenaline at a constant pulsating surge to you heart and mind, it is AWESOME!

I am in love with the word "PROPULSIVE" right now. just say it right now. PROPULSIVE. it makes me tingle.

wednesday we begin tech week!
giddy-up, horsies, giddy-up!

floodgates

2008-01-06T12:17:00.000-08:00

after rehearsal friday night, a 'light' run of the show (a run of this show is NEVER light), i got notes, we wrapped it up for the night, i went backstage, went into my dressing room, closed the door, and proceeded to weep, uncontrollably, for 15 minutes.

there is NOTHING like a good cry. nothing.

2 weeks

2008-01-04T09:25:00.000-08:00

that's when the show opens. two weeks. most people hear that and think 'wow, that soon? that's no time at all!'
but when it comes to this show, it is AMPLE time, for me anyway. cause it's just me. i have no hang time. i'm in that rehearsal i am working the WHOLE time. 4-5 hours, give or take ten-minute breaks every so often...hooray for unions!! but the work is not just mine in there, we got this massive behind the scenes element that is practically another character. the props goddess jen, the set/costume designer extraordinaire marie, AND we got matt the sound wizard and andrew the illuminator right there with me in rehearsal, playing, trying, creating on the spot, a bit more like actors trying choices on stage. they are AMAZING, because this is a new show, a premiere , we are starting from scratch, a blank canvas that we have to fill with the paint that has been given to us by the playwright. speaking of, the lovely laura just got in town and will be with us for the first time since we work-shopped in august. i will be doing a 'light' run for her tonight to show her what we have done with this beautiful script.

rehearsal last night was trying. i was beat at the end. felt like i was excavating at a dig site, uncovering a huge discovery.... with a toothbrush. more and more it is taking shape, every hour a little further, a little deeper.

2008 started off with a bang, and a run thru!!!

2008-01-02T07:33:00.000-08:00

I have had an AMAZING week of rehearsing, I must say! (ed grimley voice used here)
The revisions are fan-frickin'-tastic. They have stirred up new character traits, stronger traits, that I hadn't seen/read/heard before.
I am in a pretty good place so far. I did a run thru, a stumbly-bumbly run thru, but a run thru nonetheless! And I didn't implode so hurray for me.
This past Saturday I had a phone interview with Jane Horwitz from the Washington Post. She was very cool, and it being my first interview ever, I of course was a maniac. I probably sounded like a goober, but I made sure to gush over all the people working on this show with me, so I get points for that I suppose.
Now we are getting into the chunky thick, wet cement of it all now that we have entered into the year of the rat.
Play time's over. Time to rock this mofo out.

Merry new year, lovelies!

AND...we're off!!!

2007-12-28T10:06:00.000-08:00

rehearsals commenced yesterday with quite the turn out. it was so immensely helpful to have such a support group there to tell my story to. so i thank all of you for helping me get through it.
this blog, like i have said, is a ventilation. so here's the first.

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAA-CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!!!!!!!

phew. i needed that.

this piece has brought out insecurities i NEVER thought i could have in me. not to say i am a force of sheer confidence 24/7. i have a BUNCH of self-doubting thoughts circulating in my head all the time, but they usually are reserved for my waistline or my fear of going bald or my lack of a special someone to share my days with (insert tiny violin here.) but, a SHOW?! a place where i feel most at home, most at peace, THIS has me freaked out TOO?!?!?!

shit.

but, i am a creature that thrives on new experiences, positive or terrifying, heartwarming or heartbreaking. that is what living is for, isn't it? to feel BOTH sweet and sour?
i couldn't have one without the other.

the writing, the style, the rhythm, the rhetoric of this script is meticulous and should be treated as such. i am marking and scanning these lines as if it were the bard's verse. good thing i know how to handle the bard, or i'd really be screwed. THANKS, ACA!!! Shakespeare dorks unite!

here are some adjectives i jotted down that were said, after the first read, of what this show is, what it must be.

"delicate"
"propulsive"
"economic"
"meticulous"

so, i'm gonna chant those babies like a mantra and stay hydrated and work work work.

peace out.

Turkey is for Gluttons

2007-11-28T07:58:00.000-08:00

What is it about the house that I grew up in that convinces my brain into believing I have the metabolism of a 13 year old? I really wanna know. Why? When I am in my lovely city of DC I am cautious, nurturing and, lately I dare say, strict on my body, but the moment I arrive at that beautiful house in Wallingford, PA, I immediately wanna shove as many hoagie rolls and tastycakes as I can into my mouth. And fast food? I eat FAST FOOD up there! I don't eat fast food, what the hell?!?!
I exaggerate, of course, like I always do when it comes to me and my hatred of me, and I DID have an amazing time with my family, pretty much the coolest family in the world and if you don't agree I WILL fight you, but now I am back from that Utopia of ice cream and soft pretzels, and I'm gonna be in a state of withdrawal for a good seven days. Lucky for me I had already decided to do a lil' detoxing to get my mind and body into shape for the show, so there.

And speaking of the show, I am having a very difficult time blogging about it. I would love to share all my questions and discoveries with you, but I don't want to give anything away, because this story, this show, is all about storytelling, about leading people the right way through a legend, a fable, a tale, whatever you want to call it. So picking and editing what I put down has been quite the challenge, because I usually just pour out all my junk on to the keyboard and click "POST" but I must be considerate of your experience with this as well as mine own. Feedback is appreciated, if I'm getting boring or you have any questions about the show that I can answer, please do not hesitate, ask/bitch/comment away!

bronchitis and me

2007-11-20T11:11:00.000-08:00

It is hard reading through the script when you are coughing up hockey pucks every fifteen minutes.
That's what I learned yesterday when I went through it. But, I would rather be sick now and get it out of my system by the time rehearsals actually begin on December 27th.
Last week I admit I was freaking out, but I have more time to prep than I'd realized.
So, I'm rocking out the antibiotics and my neti pot, doing a whole lotta resting and reading. Blast this crap outta me so I can start to get this 'girl' on her feet and give her a soul.
Happy Thanksgiving!

I am done with one show and on...to...the...next!

2007-11-15T18:39:00.002-08:00

Well, not yet. The ACTUAL "process" begins right after Xmas, but I am already on the warpath.
More like war crawl at this point, but I digress.
Ohhhh, so, okay. I'm gonna be honest here.
This show terrifies me. This week anyway.
Prior to this week it was all "this show exhilarates me" or "this show rocks me." Any changing of adjectives, up or down,
makes one nervous. Very nervous. I think the terror streams from me having nothing to do this week but work on the script. It's a change that will be hard to acclimate to, especially for me.
I feel more at ease taking care of other people's issues/needs/problems....I AM a barista after all and the masses need their double capps!
But I have made the choice to focus solely on this show and that's what I'm a gonna do, dammit.
Ok, I'm done venting for the night. Feeling better. Thanks!

thinkin' thoughts.

2007-11-07T17:40:00.000-08:00

these are thoughts and questions i jotted down since september, when i really started to get into it. nothing answered yet. don't wanna answer. just wanna keep askin'.

the story. the story. it is all. as if my life depended on it. it does. without it i don't exist. charlotte's legend does not exist unless i tell it. then you. then you. then you.
(st. paul, minn. 9/3/07)

why does she go into their voices, their personas? what impedes her from telling the whole story with just her voice?
(tryst coffehouse, dc 10/12/07)

no one has understood. but you might. you can save me. if i get it all out, i can exorcise the demons that i have held within me all these years.

you need to believe me.
(10/13/07)

when someone is on the outside looking in, do they lose their identity?

if no one is watching you, sees you, do you exist?

and if you don't have a story to tell, do you matter?
(11/7/07)